Pleasures Are Few
When I found out I was pregnant, I was really excited and so was everyone around me. Their excitement levels stayed high, while I was battling sickness, fatigue, and constipation in the early months of pregnancy, trying to make it through a full day of teaching without falling asleep or throwing up in front of anyone. Sex was the last thing on my mind. In fact, I’m pretty sure I didn’t even like my husband in those days – for no good reason at all. Once the first trimester was over, I was expecting to feel sexy and endlessly horny – after all, that is what the media had kind of taught me about pregnant women. That they can’t get enough. That they basically are the perfect mood. Well, what can I say, not me. Though not sick anymore, my labia had started swelling up immensely and continuously (more on that topic here), and though I know today that orgasm would have been the exact right medicine for that, I didn’t have that information available back then, so sex was far off my radar. Basically, I went through a pretty sexless pregnancy (three of them, in fact), except for the end where I – once again driven by some weird information passed down from several not so reliable sources – was having sex to induce labor because frankly, I had had enough.
Basically, I went through a pretty sexless pregnancy ...
Then the baby came. That beautiful and absolutely perfect little human being that was entirely dependent on me. My life, like that of probably any mother out there, changed in that instant. I was exhausted most of the time, had absolutely no idea what I was doing, while doing my utmost best, and resenting my husband for no good reason – again … well, kind of because I could hardly blame that beautiful and absolutely perfect little baby, right!? As you can probably imagine, sex was again not really on the cards. Like, at all. Now I could go on and on about how we did not find time or desire for intimacy and how we struggled to not lose touch amid all that struggle/scuffle, but I am guessing you are getting the picture. In fact, we did not truly manage to turn the wheel around until I started on my Bodysex journey and learned how to access my own sexual pleasure. Which is a whole different story – to be read about here (link to article about my BS journey).
As you can probably imagine, sex was again not really on the cards.
Though practiced in an unaware manner in all those sexless months and years, I had always been a seeker of little pleasurable moments in my life and knew what would bring me a moment of joy in my darkest and loneliest moments. Looking back, it is almost like there was some autopilot guiding me, knowing what I needed better than I actually did in those moments. Anyway, here are some of the gems that brighten my day.
pleasure makes SENSE
For the senses ...
These are some of the things that bring me joy and make my life so much better. Sadly, I often loose track and need to be reminded of the little gems I have so close to me. Taking time to listen to a beautiful song, letting your soul get touched by staring at a favorite painting or sinking into the comfort of reading something by your favorite author will make your day better. As mothers we often run from one thing to the next, with never-ending lists in our heads on what to do next, while surviving more than living.
Small pleasures, as well as big ones, help us reconnect with what is important – ourselves!
listen
Vincent Van Gogh – Starry Night
look
I do not think I have ever seen anything that captured the magic of a stary night in this naïve and soul-whispering way.
read
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
[...]
taste and smell
I love baking and the smell coming from the oven on a lazy Sunday morning is hard to top for me. So here is a recipe that will fill your kitchen with heavenly smells that make those tired mommy bones happy. They can very easily be converted back into a non-vegan option. Check in if you have any questions – regarding the recipe or anything else – jess@iscarosa.com
